16 July - How Not To Argue?

Sometimes we can argue and be disagreeable with one another. Perhaps it’s because we get bored, feel grumpy within ourselves, or need some entertainment. We know who will react most so we “needle” them for some sort of reaction and we put out a “throw away” comment, and sit back to watch for who will snap up the bait and respond. Now I am all for expression and people having a view point, because no one communicating is not healthy either. But when we get into arguments these only lead to strife and dissensions. Things get said that shouldn’t, and people can get hurt. I guess that’s why God warns us to stay out of arguments and to live in peace with others as much as possible. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:8) Today if you know you have been causing arguments, make a decision to quit. It’s not worth the angst and hurt it causes. If you are feeling bored or unhappy in yourself then the best thing to do is examine your own heart and deal with yourself first. Make the effort to adopt a positive way to communicate: everyone does that differently so try to find a way that works for you without the arguments. I recommend: 1. Taking time to listen and not interrupting when another person is sharing. 2. Validate both yours and others feelings. It may not make sense to you how someone else is processing a situation, but it's their feelings and viewpoint so take time to listen and seek to understand. 3. Forgive and move on. Don't keep on bringing up the past once it's been discussed. Leave the past where it belongs and shape the future how you'd like it to look. 4. Pray and ask Jesus to give you the grace and empathy you need to express yourself constructively and to be kind towards others. The bible has this wisdom on staying out of arguments. “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.” (2 Timothy 2:23-24) “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) Prayer: Lord, please help me to stay out of silly arguments and to have self-control over my tongue. Let peace and constructive communication be my goal. In Jesus Name Amen.